Wouldn't you believe it? I am totally and irrevocably homesick! Well, maybe not irrevocably, but pretty damn close to it! It isn't even so much being homesick as peoplesick. Wait, that makes it sound like I am sick of people, which isn't really true. Well, I am sick of people I don't know. I want my family and I want my friends and I want Toki! Gosh Dammit!!!!! Normally I just miss people, but I find that I can distract myself with the cool things that I am surrounded by, but at this point, I can't. Not only do I keep having dreams about my family and friends and I see a ridiculously amount of stuff that makes me think of individuals, but I have run into so many people who are going home. This wouldn't bother me as much, except for the fact that most are not happy to be going home. Many say they "don't have anything back home" and I sit there and say, "but you have your family and friends there" and they say "yeah, I guess". Don't get me wrong, travelling is great and amazing and a totally worthwhile experience, but for someone like me who normally goes home every month and a half or so, being way for as long as I have has been hard.
I mean, I will probably get bored or tired about being home at some point soon after returning because that is just part of the cycle of life, but I am still excited to be going home in 26 days. Yes, I counted. I can't tell you how long exactly I have been gone, but I am well aware of when I am coming home. Today was really hard because as I was leaving the train station to get on the metro (I am currently in Barcelona atm), I saw three reunions that made me well up. The one that started it all was a grandmother meeting her two granddaughters. The granddaughters saw her and started screaming and running toward her and she started crying and called them princesses and held them so tight that it seemed they all would soon pass out. It was so wonderful to see, but it broke my heart because I have so many more train stations and airports to travel through alone. Plus as much as my family loves me, I doubt we will be as adorable as this woman and her granddaughters. The other two were not as lovely, but were helpful in making my eyes leak a little ( I don't cry, my eyes just leak sometimes). Both were couples. One was a man picking up a woman and the other was a woman waiting for her man. Both were touching, but I also wanted to ruin it for them because I felt they were being selfish. I understand that they weren't, I was just being a tiny bit jealous. Just a tiny bit though, not a lot. (Ok fine! Maybe a lot! So what?! Like there is anything you can do about it!)
So this all has got me stuck on people. Some people I will see soon enough, others I will see in the future, and those who I won't see again and I am sad. I am selfish and I am sad. I want to be surrounded by people I care about and people who care about me right now! I want to see everyone right now! But mostly I just want a long hug from someone who loves me so I can cry and be happy in those few seconds or minutes and not think of anything else.
I mean, I will probably get bored or tired about being home at some point soon after returning because that is just part of the cycle of life, but I am still excited to be going home in 26 days. Yes, I counted. I can't tell you how long exactly I have been gone, but I am well aware of when I am coming home. Today was really hard because as I was leaving the train station to get on the metro (I am currently in Barcelona atm), I saw three reunions that made me well up. The one that started it all was a grandmother meeting her two granddaughters. The granddaughters saw her and started screaming and running toward her and she started crying and called them princesses and held them so tight that it seemed they all would soon pass out. It was so wonderful to see, but it broke my heart because I have so many more train stations and airports to travel through alone. Plus as much as my family loves me, I doubt we will be as adorable as this woman and her granddaughters. The other two were not as lovely, but were helpful in making my eyes leak a little ( I don't cry, my eyes just leak sometimes). Both were couples. One was a man picking up a woman and the other was a woman waiting for her man. Both were touching, but I also wanted to ruin it for them because I felt they were being selfish. I understand that they weren't, I was just being a tiny bit jealous. Just a tiny bit though, not a lot. (Ok fine! Maybe a lot! So what?! Like there is anything you can do about it!)
So this all has got me stuck on people. Some people I will see soon enough, others I will see in the future, and those who I won't see again and I am sad. I am selfish and I am sad. I want to be surrounded by people I care about and people who care about me right now! I want to see everyone right now! But mostly I just want a long hug from someone who loves me so I can cry and be happy in those few seconds or minutes and not think of anything else.
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