What do I say about the year? My plane leaves in less than 4 hours for me to go home. It doesn’t seem real. I know people say that all
the time, but in this case, it is so true. Actually well, no. I take it back.
It feels like I am dehydrated and the sun is intensely shining on my fragile body and I just
had a large coffee. You know what I mean? It sort of feels like you are
floating halfway outside your body. The things around you are moving faster
than you can and you just try to sort of stay with the crowd as much as
possible so you don’t get run over.
It seems like you are in a dream state. I have been in this state on and
off for the last week or so. It makes it hard to function. I have been away
from home for so long that it sort of seems weird to call it home. For so long,
I called Leeds and the UK my home. It feels like I have been here for much
longer than a year. Well a little less than a year. Let’s start by putting some
numbers to my year.
I have been away from my family for 347 days.
I have been out of the US for 343 days.
I have been to 13 different countries (if you separate
Scotland from England)
I have been to over
45 cities
I have seen
§ UK
o Leeds
o London
o Ilkley
o Manchester
o Dover
o Windsor
o Bath
o Burmingham
o Stratford
o York
§ Scotland
o Edinburgh
o Glasgow
o Isle
of Skye
o
§ Ireland
o Dublin
o Kilarney
o Tralee
o Dingle
o Ennis
o Burren
o Galway
o Dingle
o Aran
Islands
§ France
o Paris
§ Belgium
o Brussels
§ The
Netherlands
o Amsterdam
§ Germany
o Bremen
o Berlin
o Dusseldorf
§ Greece
o Athens
o Nafplio
o Olympia
o Patras
§ Italy
o Ancona
o Rome
o Venice
o Verona
o Messina
o Palermo
o Catania
o Florence
§ Switzerland
o Zurich
o Basel
§ Spain
o Madrid
o Seville
o Barcelona
§ Portugal
o Lisbon
§ Malta
and Gozo
In a year, I have seen a lot, but not nearly as much as I
had hoped. Some places were fantastic, other places were eh and there are a few
that I don’t need to return to. That is how life is though. Not everything can
have a hold on your heart. People
though, people will always have a presence, even the people who probably don’t
deserve it. Luckily for me, there were very few duds in the year. I met many
amazing people and a few that I
would consider part of my family. These amazing people were there to see me
through some of the hard days and nights and they all dealt with my crazy
conniptions and beliefs. Granted I
would hope that they all would acknowledge some of the great times too!
I can’t remember if I shared my fears about this trip, but
one of them was that I would just float on my own for the year without a
tether. Part of me planned to not make lasting friendships with people solely
because saying goodbye is too difficult, but I realized that not bonding with
these awesome people would be much harder. I needed them to hold onto so I wouldn’t drown in the ocean
of despair. (crap I started mixing metaphors, but whatever! You get it)
My year is a blur of birthdays, mistakes, deaths, crying,
laughing, smiling, ridiculous shenanigans, gossip, yelling, FOMO, adventure, chocolate, fighting, insecurities, reassurance, and love.,
but mostly love. I am not talking about
the head over heels, sexual attraction, want to marry sort of love. I
mean the warming feeling that you get when someone cares about you and your
life and the reciprocation you give to them. A two way street sort of love
between friends, but I guess since I share this bond with more than one person
maybe I should call it a multitude of streets or maybe a roundabout? I did have
a few one way relationships, but at this point they have reached a dead end.
Actually no. Not a dead end. I simply stopped mid street. This post certainly
is full of a lot of analogies. Sorry about that!
This year has been of loss and gain. I lost a few people;
one physically, some emotionally, but I gained more. I lost part of myself that needed to go and gained something
else. I am not sure what exactly I gained, but I know I have changed. I lost a
lot of money, but I gained a lot of memories, photos, and experience, which is
much more important and profound.
And with that and the ridiculous length of this post (especially since there are no pictures), I will
stop here, but may continue later in another post.
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